The groan I just heard tells me I am not alone in my disgust. I can't get my head around the fundamental questions of "why?" and "why did you keep going?" I also have to ask how this happens to a person! Is there some tragic event involving massive brain trauma? A chemical imbalance due to environmental toxins? Or is it like Lady Gaga says and for damage like this you have to be Born This Way? (Live on CBS version)
I can sort of wrap my mind around the kind of thinking that would lead someone to attempt some kind of 'self improvement'. "Bigger is better" is a nearly ubiquitous mantra in our society. However, nearly all the people I know would have conducted some amount of research and abandoned the project before it began. Well, that's not quite true. Nearly all the people I know would never have let things even get that far! This man may or may not have conducted research, but if he did, it didn't discourage him. He committed himself to a regimen of injecting silicon into his naughty bits on a regular basis, for six years. My first reaction to this is that he should have been committed all right! That didn't happen, so he was free to proceed.
I'm not privy to the process or the progress, only the end result. In the video he is being interviewed and is happy as a clam to pull out his business and show the camera. I'll point out that at this point there are no (human) clams that could accommodate him -- that's if he could get it stiff enough to try and put it anywhere, which I sincerely doubt. His business looks like nothing if not a dead fish (see 'photo' below) lying on top of an undrilled bowling ball. 'Dead fish' is probably an apt description for reasons other than appearance. With that much inert silicon in his member, no amount of spongiform tissue and no amount of displaced blood could ever perk this sucker up -- it is forever a cold fish, hot steel nevermore. It's not just big, lolling and lifeless, it's deformed. Anyone so inclined, and that should be an extremely exclusive community, could stick two chubby fingers down its pee-hole without touching the sides. ::shiver::
I suppose one could grudgingly, and with a healthy dose of doubt, say that his massive scrotum was in some way "Mission Accomplished". Congratulations dude! You have the biggest package on the planet! You've earned the right to hang up massive "Mission Accomplished" banners, strike up the band and pat yourself on the back for a job well done. And just like that other guy almost 10 years ago people will look at you like you're out of your gourd, which you've just demonstrated you clearly are.
Why am I deriding your 'achievement'? Let me cite some of the ways. First, you've now got giant inert nuts. Were you trying to attract prehistoric squirrels? (Somebody call John Leguizamo!) Only one percent of your nads by weight (or volume) is functional so, in the unlikely event that you can actually still climax, your 'blast radius' is going to be zero. Worse, with the extra distance that your spunk has to travel, through hideously widened channels, it'll be a wonder if any fluid escapes at all (without extensive and strenuous manual massage). Second, you have sized your way out of ever experiencing the sensation of having your nuts gently nibbled or sucked on...unless you find a radically larger species with which to copulate and good luck finding any docile enough to suck rather than 'bite, chew and swallow'. On the bright side, should that happen, all that silicon filling in your Twinkie should be sufficient poison to exact your revenge.
Back to trying to understand the abnormal psychology at work here. Thinking about undergoing a change I can see. Proceeding is where I start to get lost. After than I'm in deep space, completely lost. I think we can agree that life isn't always black and white, in fact it's usually countless shades of grey. Taken another way, life isn't about the start point and end point, it's the journey that matters. In this case, the question is, "At any point along the six year duration of the project did you even once consider the nature of progress so far and reevaluate the merits of continuing?" Did you do that and consistently conclude everything was hunky dory and full steam ahead? Or, did you look at this as though jumping off a cliff, where you intended to just keep on falling until you hit bottom and went splat?
It is cases like these that make me wonder about the long term viability of the human species. This is a hop, skip and a jump away from lemming hysteria. It's a short leap of logic from here to complete and total nuclear annihilation because someone wanted a quick tan and it was cloudy that day. Oh yeah, and their microwave was on the fritz -- that was their first proposed solution. How could it not be? "Weird" Al Yankovic himself suggests, "stick your head in the microwave and get yourself a tan", in Dare To Be Stupid (here).
The bottom line as I see it, people this brain dead, or insane if you prefer, never take themselves out without a whole lotta collateral damage. A generation or two ago this could never have happened. After seventeen of the 10,000 steps toward this mad goal the poor sot would have been institutionalized. That would be preferable to the way things work today. Of course, the so called treatment options back then left much to be desired. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. With gentlemen like the one examined here, along with murderers and sexual criminals, especially pedophiles, I just wonder if the Cult of Independence has spread too far, making it too easy for predators and ticking time bombs to operate free of constraints and in relative anonymity.
Yet another thing to think about.
P.S. For you haters who are completely missing the point and are walking away with an impression of "he's just jealous," read my next post.
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